I’m sat here and i’m a mess. Ive spent the past half hour crying on and off because i’m in another fucking mood drop on top of being stressed about money and uni work. I’ve done hardly anything in the past week because I’ve just felt so down for most of it. This depression is getting bad again and its crippling me. I’m trying so hard to do work but I can’t do it, its too much. The pressure, the stress, the worry, the self loathing. My brain can’t handle it.

I can’t even explain this properly.

I have tutorial tomorrow and final tutorial crit for my self-branding on tuesday and I have no final mock ups to show. I’m trying to re work my CV but im sat here trying to write my personal profile and its just so difficult. How can I write a short profile and make myself sound awesome when, in reality, I hate myself and think that I’m not cut out for anything?

I dont know what the fuck i’m doing anymore. This is the lowest I’ve felt in a while. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of this happening. I’m sick of feeling like shit most of the time. I hate that this is stopping me from doing the things I both NEED and WANT to do.

And then I think: what’s the point? This will never go away. So what’s the point. Why even try? Why even do anything?